Staples don't tickle.

It doesn’t now nor will it ever count as exercise if you do warm-up laps around your kitchen in preparation to run down the stairs to pick up the delivery food. Not another word about it. Somethin’ so strong could carry us way. Som’n. Som’n.

We’ve received word that the sea lions are on a cruise in the Mediterranean. They know and love themselves for who they are and we’re happy for them.

So we checked out www.coolfer.com and the Feist record is no joke. Swing over there and check what they’re slinging but come back because we’re going to juggle buck-naked on the dance floor and we will, in fact, throw our hands in the air, wave ‘em like we just don’t care, and then hope no one called the police. Handclaps, more often than not, will either make or break a song. The Thrills used this age-old bit of studio magic to rock out on “One Horse Town”. Enough banter, it’s time for the Top 5:

1. Chocolate Genius – Black Music (“My Mom” is some of the saddest music in the world.)
2. The Twilight Singers - Blackberry Belle (We were a bit blinded by the fact that there were so many frat boys at this show. Totally, didn’t see it coming. Maybe they were just record executives.)
3. Leaves - Breathe (When you're tired of listening to "Parachutes" for the
1 millionth time...)
4. The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart (Arousal via air conditioning)
5. The Kicks – Hello Hong Kong (Little Rock, AR is the new hot spot for rock. Home, also, to the World’s Greatest Groupie. Saw it on Insomniac.)

Not to alarm you or anything but we heard that CDs are deteriorating over time. In order to prevent any further deteriorating, we’ve taken our collective CD collection and wrapped it in shrink-wrap. Listening to them now has proven to be somewhat of a quandary but in due time we’ll arrive at a fitting solution. Spank you very much. Until whenever, media5

Oops, we fell asleep.....

Straight up? Buzz rocks us like a mountain climb with no rope. Why? Because Buzz gave us, yes you and we, the remaining top 5 ceiling fans. If you didn't see the comment from yesterday, please go check it out in the comments section of yesterday's post. Yes Senator, we agree.

LED lights. When did these become so popular? They’re everywhere now. Everywhere.
Brother Ali is slammin’. Seriously. Some of nature’s little surprises are sweet. E=MC2. MC Hawkins is really funny and you should check out that site. Wow. Fun with two n’s. Do you know what else has two n’s?

We got “noon” and “Anna”.

Nanny doesn’t count because it has 3 n’s. Two only.

Have you ever been standing in your window when you’re naked and more than slightly out of shape? If so, we kindly ask that you close your curtains. We know you have them. Please use them. Some things you just can’t un-see. Top Five tomorrow. Until then, mentally peruse this gem: The guys in Lynard Skynard and .38 Special were mostly if not completely related to one another. Like either brothers or cousins or something. Music is often genetic. “Tuesday’s Gone”. Yup, ‘bout two days ago. media5

You wouldn't believe it if we sang it to you!

Dig – Believe. Do you remember that tune? No. Nobody did until KEXP played it the other day. Have you ever tried to smoke your own meats? It sounds fun but we’ll bet the payoff isn’t as rewarding as one would hope. We think our inner child is mildly retarded. It may help to explain what we’re about to say: EARLY TOP 5!!!

Top Five Ceiling Fans
1. Hamilton Bay
2. Hunter….
3.
4.
5.

Ok, we thought it would be a funny little bit but after 20 minutes of trying to scope out ceiling fans on the web, we came up with only two names. Regardless, the search was taking longer than a bad Grammy speech… And in that imaginary Grammy speech, the music was playing folks and we had to cut to commercial. Damn. We’re sweaty. Hammer time. media5

Fun with mammals

Whoa son, take a deep breath and relax. The worst is over. You may feel a sting and that sting is just your pride. Thanks for coming back. Today’s blog is brought to you buy the Number 2 and the National Association for Bi-curious Sea Lions. I’d tell you their slogan but it’s far too deep. Ok. Music. Focus. We just scored tickets to the Keane show at the Knitting Factory in New York on June 24th. If you haven’t heard their single “Somewhere Only We Know” skip over to iTunes or Napster and check it out. We think the record is out here on May 25th. Another great brit-pop band is Aqualung. Not sure when or if they’re coming back to the states… They’re brilliant. It’s summer. We’re looking forward to the seasonal joys that summer has to bring: TV re-runs, lightning storms, and ham dinners. Yeah, baking. Love cookies.

Pro wrestlers scare us but in a Jerry Lewis kind-of-way. Toodles. media5

Muffins...Warm Muffins

I just don’t get anime with the big eyes and the goofy monologues and the moral lessons disguised as bubble tea propaganda. Speaking of propaganda, welcome to the first installment of the brand-spankin’ new Media 5 blog. Do you spell blog w/ two “g’s” or one? Screw it. Who cares… Anyhoo, welcome to the blog where we’ll be talking music and other pop culture bits, all of which will be infused w/ stories about electrical tape, bi-curious sea lions and other witty repartee. We’d like to lay a few ground rules here at the outset if we may…Wait, we have an itch. Ok, much better. The first “rule” of the club is that while we hope to turn you on to new music (in the same way that those old Teddy Pendergrass records used to make your mom give it up to the football team) we don’t want to “out indie” anyone. By that we mean: We’ll try to keep our hipster six-shooter in its holster most of the time. From time to time we may come across a band that you, our beloved reader, might not be immediately familiar with and we hope that is the case more often than not but in the beginning, we hope to remind you about music that you may have forgotten. When is the last time you put on a Lemonheads record? If it’s longer than 2 months than we implore to go pop in “Come On Feel The Lemonheads” right now. And even though there was this one time that Juliana Hatfield was being mean to some music store employee and she tripped up the stairs on her way out of said store, that doesn’t make her a bad person. That made her a victim of karma. She was probably having a bad day anyway. Regardless, the record itself is tight and old but good and you’ll probably thank us for recommending it later (P.S. If you have a Super Nintendo, you may want to crank that bad boy up as well. Hell, do it while you’re listening to the record. “Two cats w/ one knapsack”, that’s what we always say.) The second bit of background/foreground about us is this: Damn, I forgot what I was saying. Oh, yeah. You may be wondering where the “5” in media5 came from well, there are 5 of us riding this pony and this is kind of what it sounds like when 5 of us are thinking/talking/making out. Are these “rules” for you or us? We’ll figure it out as we go along. Rules are made to be broken and then you should tease their hair. The last blurb is this: We thought it might be nifty as being that we’re “5” and all, we’re going to close each week with a Top 5 (fill in the blank here). Ok, the Top 5 is going to mainly, and will probably always be, music but we may, on the off week, decide to post a “Top 5 Names for Your Pet Penguin” so please don’t be alarmed. Listen, if you’ve even made it this far, we suspect you won’t be alarmed. So with that spewed, here is this week’s Top 5 Records:


1. Lemonheads – Come On Feel The Lemonheads (See above.)
2. Leona Naess - Leona Naess (Her first record was way cool. She opened for
Travis @ Irving Plaza the night of their first NY headlining show. The second album blew and not in a windy way. The third, this one, is mighty, mighty fine. She's like an indie Norah Jones on this one but in a drastically less “soccer-mom” way. A friend followed her to the train a few weeks back. He said she seemed nervous.)
3. Loretta Lynn - Van Lear Rose (Crack open the Pabst, sign the divorce papers, and get in a knife fight with your stepchild. Beautiful.)
4. Rosie Thomas - When We Were Small (The record is so depressing. No joke, she was actually doing a comic stand-up routine at the end of each performance so her audience didn’t rush home, grab something sharp, and run a warm bath…)
5. Whiskeytown - Strangers Almanac (It's hard to remember a time when Ryan
Adams wasn't making hash-fueled phone calls to music critics. It's really hard. This record helps.)

If this Top 5 doesn’t make any sense to you, than we’re on the right track. It didn’t to us either. Wow, lots of animal references. Friggin’ muppets. We wonder if the Swedish Chef could get a gig on the Food Network? Dweezil and Lisa did. We’re going to pitch that to them. Sweet. Well, we should sign off for now. We can smell smoke but this party is just getting started. Ouch, Kid n Play were never that cheesy.

And just to be clear, we may not get anime, but we love it. Ok, we don’t love it but we do find it amusing. We do LOVE bubble tea. xxoo media5