Mr. Spanky? Your car is here.

It's lonely. So lonely. The life of a cheese salesman. If you spend your days selling and discussing cheese, how do you amuse yourself between customers? Are there cheese jokes that only "insiders" know? Even when discussed humorously, Gouda can only take you so far. The tracks for the cheese train only cover so much ground. Then you have to take a horse. And that, my friends, will chafe your inner thighs.

Arriving on the wings of greatness, today's musical something-or-other is Frank Zappa's "Freak Out!". If you've felt timid about seeking out Zappa, feel timid no more. This is the record for you. Pick it up with both hands and yell, "Yippie!!". Not too loudly though. That would be weird.

Do cheese salesmen and butchers have an unspoken rivalry? Rest your heads weary soldiers. In the eyes of Dr. Atkins, you're all embraced by his love. The love of all things low in carbs. Spark the grill. media5